Quarantine 2020 Changed Me

For a brief weird moment, we were all in quarantine and it felt as though the whole world really did stop turning.

Do you ever wonder when we look back on 2020 how we will remember this year?

Honestly most of us will probably say "good riddance." Others might say "Thank God we made it out alive!" I am over here looking at the complete reset of society. There have been positives within all of the tragedy, sadness, and frustration.

For me personally, the shut down hit right after I wrapped up recording my first full-length album in Nashville. We were set to release it in the Spring, but production came to a halt when no one could be together to finish it up.

Annabelle and I published our first children's book. We were so excited to do book signings and school visits. We still released the book, but none of the extra stuff happened.

I had a super full gig schedule with quite a few full band shows I was excited to play, and got some new gear to prepare for them.

All of those things were expensive and I had banked on Spring to pay for it. I had moments I wasn't going to stress about it, but honestly, I had more moments it made me super sick and I stressed about it a lot! ...not gonna lie...there were tears.

I am thankful Scott was "essential" so our regular bills were fine unlike so many who struggled or lost their businesses etc. But I do finance my own projects and I was pretty afraid I got myself in too deep... even though the pandemic wasn't my fault.

(Thankfully all of that worked out and it will all be fine.)

So here we are in quarantine. Nothing is open so there is nowhere to go.

It was guilt free, free time, but I just wouldn't accept that!

I worked super hard every minute of every day. I filmed online shows for various venues, worked on marketing our book, tried navigating this new extensive online career we were now having to build. Our entire house had to get the plumbing redone and the construction had just finished so it was time to paint. I painted for days and days.

I did all of those things for the first couple of weeks until I was exhausted and over it, scared about life and so confused about everything.

I dropped it all. No more blogging, no more posting all the time, no more worrying about all that was out of my control. Skipped watching the news for the most part.

The first few days were hard to get out of the work mode mindset...then it wasn't hard at all.

I rode my horse every day. I played with the kids, instead of just telling them to go play to occupy them. I was able to let my nieces and nephews ride some. I planted herbs and tomatoes, and peppers, and I actually took care of them!

I breathed easier.

I felt wonderful and was happier than I had been in a long, long time. I realized I didn't miss the non-stop hustle. After years and years of our family having a completely booked schedule, I was realizing quarantine life was not so bad after all. I missed playing shows for people, but I was also really ok to chill. The kids had rodeos they were sad to miss, but we practiced at the house a bunch and "socially distanced" on horses with their friends a couple of times.

It reset my mind and my priorities.

I think if nothing had ever opened back up I would have gone full-on self-sufficient prepper mode and just never left home...but it did...and it was back to the grind!

Florida opened up much faster than most other states. My wide-open schedule was suddenly booked solid. I played all the shows I could for a few weeks deciding if we shut down again, I was gonna be ready this time! I didn't even see my horse for a couple weeks...I didn't like it.

This is where I decided balance is just going to HAVE to become a priority for me. I always thought I had it until this eye-opening year. I thought I was juggling all the different areas of my life, but I wasn't. There were so many fun things I never got to do because there was never time.

When I look back on 2020 I will remember the shift in my heart and mind from what I think I enjoy to what actually brings joy.

Crazy it took a pandemic for me to see that joy is a state of being not just a temporary feeling of enjoyment. Joy comes from the Lord, but can be given away so quickly and sometimes we don't even realize it's gone.

The second half of 2020 will be figuring out how to make it all work better and I am determined. We are back on the blogging, gigging, the new album is coming soon train...on top of all of that it's back to school and back to rodeo time. We definitely have the challenge to balance ahead of us, but I think me and all of you other Mama's out there will figure this thing out.

I would love to know what you are learning in 2020 email me contact@caseykearney.com